Wow, didn't realize someone video taped last Friday's game. There is a special 2 minute video clip at the following site:
Team Black vs. Team White
Friday, March 03, 2006
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Black Panthers
Hot off the press!!!!!!
The Black Team has decided to go to its roots.
They will be now called THE BLACK PANTHERS- PUBLIC ENEMY.
Paul Bassi: The real mouth of the south.
"OK MAN"
I NEVER APOLIGIZE. I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM.
Ryan Bala: The original hype man.
"Yeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh Boyyyy!!!!!! Hah hah! That's right, Flava Flav here. I like to watch TV back in Da-crib, and due to a weather anomaly, I'm able to receive British TV. Yes! So here's the very best night's viewing that I can think of. Put it on ya toast!"
The Black Team has decided to go to its roots.
They will be now called THE BLACK PANTHERS- PUBLIC ENEMY.
Paul Bassi: The real mouth of the south."OK MAN"
I NEVER APOLIGIZE. I'M SORRY, BUT THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM.
Ryan Bala: The original hype man."Yeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh Boyyyy!!!!!! Hah hah! That's right, Flava Flav here. I like to watch TV back in Da-crib, and due to a weather anomaly, I'm able to receive British TV. Yes! So here's the very best night's viewing that I can think of. Put it on ya toast!"
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
After thier morning practice Team White's newly accuired right winger 
Mr Badd Ass Billy Virk didn't seem as confident in his team as he did four days ago after thier 3 - 1 victory over Team Black. Virky , when asked by reporter David "fat ass" Pratt, had this to say..."well Dave we went into last friday's game riding on pure emotion after the big trade. Team Black didn't come to play that night and we got lucky...very lucky. I played on that team for the last year now and i know when Smitter , Bhala, double K, the Deepster and now obviously Paul, Paul and whenever Paul shows up want to turn it up a notch or two they do exactly that and just shut the other team down completely. I was honoured to be a part of that team and I just told my new teammates to watch out for them to come out full force this friday night. I also told Team White that we also need someone else to start scoring besides Sharny..I'll do my part but we need guys like T.J. and Randy "Buckteeth" Parmar to add some scoring to our line- up also. With all that said we better be ready to play on friday.
Mr Badd Ass Billy Virk didn't seem as confident in his team as he did four days ago after thier 3 - 1 victory over Team Black. Virky , when asked by reporter David "fat ass" Pratt, had this to say..."well Dave we went into last friday's game riding on pure emotion after the big trade. Team Black didn't come to play that night and we got lucky...very lucky. I played on that team for the last year now and i know when Smitter , Bhala, double K, the Deepster and now obviously Paul, Paul and whenever Paul shows up want to turn it up a notch or two they do exactly that and just shut the other team down completely. I was honoured to be a part of that team and I just told my new teammates to watch out for them to come out full force this friday night. I also told Team White that we also need someone else to start scoring besides Sharny..I'll do my part but we need guys like T.J. and Randy "Buckteeth" Parmar to add some scoring to our line- up also. With all that said we better be ready to play on friday.
Hockey Night in Delta
Controversy
The McKeeerie (Kulvir Kaila) AKA Craig Janney is reportly in secret talks with the Black team to defect reports TSN insider Dave Hodge. McKeeerie is supposedly not happy that his little buddy Polly Pipes was traded two weeks back. When questioned about this McKeeerie held back tears when he recalled how he would sharpen his skates between Polly Pipes double chin. In furious anger McKeeerie directed the blame towards GM Sharny: "Sharny got drunk and traded away the whole team." While perplexed by last week's surprise victory, McKeeerie believes it was a fluke.
The McKeeerie (Kulvir Kaila) AKA Craig Janney is reportly in secret talks with the Black team to defect reports TSN insider Dave Hodge. McKeeerie is supposedly not happy that his little buddy Polly Pipes was traded two weeks back. When questioned about this McKeeerie held back tears when he recalled how he would sharpen his skates between Polly Pipes double chin. In furious anger McKeeerie directed the blame towards GM Sharny: "Sharny got drunk and traded away the whole team." While perplexed by last week's surprise victory, McKeeerie believes it was a fluke.
Monday, February 27, 2006
BLACK WILL BE BACK
Team Black had a closed door meeting this afternoon. After coming out Ryan Bhala had this to say..." These guys (Team White) are getting too cocky. what they don't think we'll be back.. Team Black will be back to its winning ways this Friday. we're not going to lay down and die... these guys win one game and they think they're Stanley Cup champs. They basically had Sharny score all their goals and Shakey. We shut down Sharny and we get more shots on net we win. .. it's as simple as that... hopefully we have Ohlund back in the lineup along with KayKay to help out in the scoring department..all this crap about backchecking and leadership will be put to rest this Friday night.. I challenge my whole team to step it up a notch and bring our A game!
Extreme Scouting done by Team Black
Yemen: Top G7 sources report that Team Black have gone to Scouting where No One has even dare to go. Early reports indicate the Team Black's Top Guy gave the unprecidented Thumbs Up to Scout Recent Kabul Prison attempted escapees' from a Top Max Jail in Kabul. Secret Protected AAA emails btwn gov. officals were leaked to the press when an internet virus named "Black Monkey" smashed into an Egyptian mainframe web network.
At least four inmates have died and dozens wounded during a riot at Afghanistan's notorious Kabul prison, a local government official said Monday.
Officials blame the rebellion, which began late Saturday, on false promises made by Team Black's Top Guy Shitter s. Kaila. Sources say he had written letters to anyone who escaped, that he would provide them with a new life in Delta BC, and more importantly give them a spot on his sinking hockey team.
Prison officials said the rioting inmates finally agreed to halt violence late Monday to remove the wounded and bury the dead.
Supplies of water, electricity and food -- cut off a day earlier in a bid to quell the violence -- were restored, the officials said.
Chief government negotiator Mr.Bad A$$ told The Associated Press that Team Black is open to scounting any player in the world, but false promises is nothing new fot Team Black.
Team Black's Dazzed and Confused forward R.Bhala was quoted as saying,
"hey...man...at least these guy's have a pulse right,,,,, like you know what I mean???"
At least four inmates have died and dozens wounded during a riot at Afghanistan's notorious Kabul prison, a local government official said Monday.
Officials blame the rebellion, which began late Saturday, on false promises made by Team Black's Top Guy Shitter s. Kaila. Sources say he had written letters to anyone who escaped, that he would provide them with a new life in Delta BC, and more importantly give them a spot on his sinking hockey team.
Prison officials said the rioting inmates finally agreed to halt violence late Monday to remove the wounded and bury the dead.
Supplies of water, electricity and food -- cut off a day earlier in a bid to quell the violence -- were restored, the officials said.
Chief government negotiator Mr.Bad A$$ told The Associated Press that Team Black is open to scounting any player in the world, but false promises is nothing new fot Team Black.
Team Black's Dazzed and Confused forward R.Bhala was quoted as saying,
"hey...man...at least these guy's have a pulse right,,,,, like you know what I mean???"
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Weekend Blues
DELTA, Canada - Well it hasn't been a very happy weekend for team Kalhian (Female Negros). Since trading three of their players, the Porch Monkeys are 0-2.
So WTF is going on?
There are several areas of major concern...
The first is the goaltending situation. Scouting for a goalie 1 hour before game time in locations even Hardeep (D-tour) Toor wouldn't go is not very irresponsible. While goaltending is certainly not the only problem, it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed ASAP. Management was hoping to go with Bob (Nintendo Thumbs) Sidhu, but he was busy on the last level of Zelda.
Speaking of the team in front of them, the defensive coverage has been absolutely terrible. While the spotlight has always been on the goaltending, or lack thereof, defensive coverage has been the true achilles heal of this team. The Jigga Boos give up way too many quality scoring chances and it has become an epidemic. The lack of depth on the blueline has taken it's toll on the top guy Smitter (Don't Call me Shitter) Kaila. It also seems that De-tour is not a reliable defenceman, giving pucks away like a cheap hooker. Going into this next month there are a lot of red-flags where the blueline was concerned and the defense needs to be addressed.
While the defense core is not playing well, a lot of the blame needs to be placed on the forwards. There are 5 guys on the ice who need to be responsible in their own zone. On too many shifts there are only 3 or 4 guys getting it done. The forwards need to put a lot more effort into backchecking, but more importantly they have to work harder along the boards and they need to support the defense when breaking out of the zone. Until the forwards start playing better defense, the lack of depth on the blueline and in net, will continue to be exposed.
Goaltending and defensive play are two of the obvious areas of concern, but there is one more area that is probably the most concerning of all - intangibles.
This team is lacking in heart, work-ethic, grit, chemistry and leadership. They simply don't have "IT" and it's painfully evident when they play team WHITE. It starts with the top guy, Ryan (Bottle Rocket) Bala. While the Rocket had his best games when he was playing with Paul (Missing) Gill (working hard, hitting, backchecking and putting up huge numbers) he has gone back to being the pouty, depressing cherry-picker of old. Scoring goals is not leading by example. Leading by example entails working hard on every shift, not lamenting in post game comments that the team isn't working hard enough. Leading by example means backchecking all the time. Leading by example means taking the body when it's there and not turning away.
Okay enough with the leadership, let's look at the grit and heart of this team. The best post game comment must have come from defenceman on Team Jungle Bunnies Deep (Snake 2) Sandhu, "we traded our grit for shit". Well it's hard to look at something that isn't there. There is no grit on the scoring lines, which you can get by with because of the offense they hope to provide.
Finally I come to team chemistry. This group of players has grown stale. First let's put things in perspective. There are low points in every season and the Niggers are currently at a low point. It's not time to push the panic button, just for the sake of doing "something." What Shitter does now will affect this franchise for the next several games. So with that out of the way let's get to it...
It's time for Shitter to make his mark.
TEAM BLACK
So WTF is going on?
There are several areas of major concern...
The first is the goaltending situation. Scouting for a goalie 1 hour before game time in locations even Hardeep (D-tour) Toor wouldn't go is not very irresponsible. While goaltending is certainly not the only problem, it is a serious issue that needs to be addressed ASAP. Management was hoping to go with Bob (Nintendo Thumbs) Sidhu, but he was busy on the last level of Zelda.
Speaking of the team in front of them, the defensive coverage has been absolutely terrible. While the spotlight has always been on the goaltending, or lack thereof, defensive coverage has been the true achilles heal of this team. The Jigga Boos give up way too many quality scoring chances and it has become an epidemic. The lack of depth on the blueline has taken it's toll on the top guy Smitter (Don't Call me Shitter) Kaila. It also seems that De-tour is not a reliable defenceman, giving pucks away like a cheap hooker. Going into this next month there are a lot of red-flags where the blueline was concerned and the defense needs to be addressed.
While the defense core is not playing well, a lot of the blame needs to be placed on the forwards. There are 5 guys on the ice who need to be responsible in their own zone. On too many shifts there are only 3 or 4 guys getting it done. The forwards need to put a lot more effort into backchecking, but more importantly they have to work harder along the boards and they need to support the defense when breaking out of the zone. Until the forwards start playing better defense, the lack of depth on the blueline and in net, will continue to be exposed.
Goaltending and defensive play are two of the obvious areas of concern, but there is one more area that is probably the most concerning of all - intangibles.
This team is lacking in heart, work-ethic, grit, chemistry and leadership. They simply don't have "IT" and it's painfully evident when they play team WHITE. It starts with the top guy, Ryan (Bottle Rocket) Bala. While the Rocket had his best games when he was playing with Paul (Missing) Gill (working hard, hitting, backchecking and putting up huge numbers) he has gone back to being the pouty, depressing cherry-picker of old. Scoring goals is not leading by example. Leading by example entails working hard on every shift, not lamenting in post game comments that the team isn't working hard enough. Leading by example means backchecking all the time. Leading by example means taking the body when it's there and not turning away.
Okay enough with the leadership, let's look at the grit and heart of this team. The best post game comment must have come from defenceman on Team Jungle Bunnies Deep (Snake 2) Sandhu, "we traded our grit for shit". Well it's hard to look at something that isn't there. There is no grit on the scoring lines, which you can get by with because of the offense they hope to provide.
Finally I come to team chemistry. This group of players has grown stale. First let's put things in perspective. There are low points in every season and the Niggers are currently at a low point. It's not time to push the panic button, just for the sake of doing "something." What Shitter does now will affect this franchise for the next several games. So with that out of the way let's get to it...
It's time for Shitter to make his mark.
TEAM BLACK
Hidden Agenda
Hats off "two" team white who displayed what trading away the right players and not mattering what comes back can really do for a team. Who cares how you remove cancer as long as it goes away is a prime example of the recent trade. Thus freeing up GM/player/coach/backstabber Sharnjit Kaila to have an entire orchard for himself to pick without having to share and pretend to have to co-exist with Pipes and The Kid. After carrying the goal scoring workload for team white Sharny acomplished his goal of shortening down his bench and having one line of defence, a goalie named Shakey. After Dan Cloutier's pads went down in week 3 of this season to an injury or a reception party, GM Sharny knew he fell upon something good with Shakey (does anyone know this guys real name?) in net. Judging by Team White latest performance its obvious that we haven't seen a two man team put together like this since 1988 Winter Olympic's when Jamaica's two-man bobsled team captured the hearts of a nation, but didn't capture a medal. This ideolgy of no "I" in team will be tested by Team White's 4 eyes, player/coach Sharny and and netminder Shakey, how long will this continue, we will wait and see with our own eyes.
Reporting from Torino
Baboo Mackenzie
Reporting from Torino
Baboo Mackenzie
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